Here is a great blog by the "Crunchy Domestic Goddess." http://crunchydomesticgoddess.com/2009/01/02/breastfeeding-until-age-3-4-or-5-more-common-than-you-think/#comment-17108 I think she has some great posts!
This morning Claire and I went to the Carmel LLL group. There were a bunch of "veteran" moms which was nice as we could discuss more than "new" baby stuff. We also played a round of Jeopardy all breastfeeding question related! I feel like I learned a lot.
We talked about "What is normal?" Basically...weaning at one and putting baby on cow's breastmilk. is. not. normal. WE are the only cultural who weans so prematurely and puts the kids on cow milk. WHY? I don't really know. It's just what people do.
Then the discussion was NORMAL is sooo far removed...we don't KNOW what normal is anymore! I think the whole "First Steps" crap I'm doing is crap. We started the "enrollment" at the end of October. It took 3 appointments to set things up. We will meet with a Nutritionist once a month to have her weighed, etc. I say ETC. because I don't know what the ETC. is yet. And then we will meet with a "therapist" every week for awhile, then maybe every other week.
I say "therapist" in quotes as I met ours. She is a dumb-ass. I will give her one more chance, but I don't think my opinion of her is going to change. They say you can learn a lot about people in the first 30 seconds. I think this is 100% true. There is just no good "conversation"--I would never elect to go out to lunch with her. The first appointment was for her to get to know Claire and I. Next week we will start on "eating" therapy. I don't think it's really needed. WHY? Well, because I think Claire eats what and when she wants. She has had an increased appetite in the past 2 weeks. I don't think she really has texture issues. She hasn't gagged/choked in over a month, and frankly, I feel like all these people that have been here are idiots. Am I the only one who feels surrounded by idiots?
Why do I say idiots? Because all of the 4 women who have been here to "evaluate/meet with her" have not breastfed their children. NORMALLY, I could honestly give two shits less about this because really, if you want to not, fine, don't whatever, I'm over here MINDING my own business. I won't say anything about you not bf'ing yours (for whatever reason) if you don't say anything about me bf'ing mine until 4 or whatever (who reads this that doesn't, I don't know because you've never left a comment)...BUT what HAS ticked me off, is that they are basically asking me stuff like, "Do you think she prefers nursing over solids" (yes, duh, it's superior and I think her body knows it's better than ANY solid). It's not that I don't want somebody to "help" us, it's just that I think I've realized she doesn't "need" help. Haha...I need help...lots of it...somebody please help me clean my house, etc... ;) I just feel like they don't "get" why I'm still nursing her and that if I weaned her, it would force her to eat solids. Sorry, ladies, this is the best food on earth.
But basically, I realized this at the meeting this morning when the gal said that our culture has so totally destructed WHAT NORMAL IS...that the "NORMAL" isn't what is world-wide normal (eg: child-led weaning at ages 5-7). I know if I would have read that 2 years I ago, I would be like, weird, nursing at 5. SICK...nursing at 7! But now I'm thinking...maybe this is what is so wrong with our society? WHO KNOWS? I don't know how long Claire will want to nurse. I don't know how I'll feel about things a year from now or a month from now. I don't know what kind of situations or circumstances will be around either. But what I think is awesome is something like that post by the Crunchy Domestic Goddess that she talks openly about nursing a preschooler. This morning I talked to a gal whose girl self-weaned at 5 and 1/2. I think that sometimes LLL gets a rep for nursing kids until they are really old. Really. Since when is 5 and 1/2 old? And I'm sick of the competitive parenting. I'm sick of reading all these posts on CafeMom about bf'ing moms judging other bf'ing moms about nursing older children. REALLY? IF you can't get support from other bf'ing moms who the hell are you going to get some support from? Why do you need support? Well, it's not like "support" but rather a lack of "bashing" more or less. This is why I can't do long blog postings. Once I start going, I can't shut up. LOL! I know that opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. And if you don't like my opinion...close your freaking browser. I'm irritated by stupid people daily. Cashiers that can't count change; therapists that show up late because they "forgot" what time it was; people that can't drive....and the list goes on. Oh, and family members that comment, "You write too much." SHUT UP and just look at the pretty pictures. Just scroll down to the pretty pictures if that's all your simple little mind can handle. Haha. Ouch. Did you actually read that?!? You know I still love you. I have to. You're family. Just don't piss me off, or I'll set this blog to private and ban your ass. ;)
So what was normal before the advent of formula? Nobody spoon fed babies processed crap from a jar before they could lift their own heads up. I'd love to go back in time, see how women did things in 1940 before the big formula push and learn. I think that kids nursed longer, got solids later, and that was normal. We've fucked normal. Bottles and pacifiers are just "breast dildos" as more than one other LLL mom has referenced. HAHA. Now every time I am at the store and see a bag or wrapping paper or other baby item with a bottle on it, I think of that image. Normal is not sticking a baby in daycare. Normal is not separating the infant from it's environment. Infant primates environments = the mother. We've fucked that normal too. Society fails us all in so many ways. Any solutions?
END OF RANT!
2 comments:
Our society has succumbed to advertisements. All we see all day long is ads that boast claims with fine print or super fast radio ads that imprint stupid products into our conscience. Look at the grocery store. One gigantic fucking ad for food products. Virtually every single product label in that store was designed to catch your attention and convince your dumb ass to buy it. Take a look at low fat foods. Some products simply change the serving size and make the claim of low fat. Face it, corporations make it easy to bottle feed kids. Or, government programs GIVE mothers on aide programs cans of formula. Our government doesn't even give a shit about its children. As long as the government collects taxes on food sales, no one will change anything. Lobbyists, also know as pushers, get paid to convince senators and the like to allow companies to sell all kinds of sick modified and laboratory franken foods. Maybe because the government can't tax breastfeeding, that is why it is not promoted. Besides, if we had healthy children, our doctors couldn't prescribe as much pharmaceuticals later in childhood. I personally think our society has already crested. We're heading for a nation of retarded fat fucks. Watch the movie Idiocracy for further information in this regard.
Richardo - the U.S. government doesn't tax food sales. Check your receipt at the grocery store. It's not all a conspiracy!
Maria - take a deep breath!! Phew, girl! As far as solutions, you just keep doing what you and your husband believe is best for your daughter and your family, and to hell with "normal."
Personally, I was DONE nursing MG at 28 months. She'd probably still be nursing if I had let her, but I could not take it anymore.
Don't take up extended nursing as a crusade and force it on Claire. Child-led means that you let her decide. And don't discount the notion that it's really different nursing a 2 or nearly-3 year old than it is to nurse a 1 year old. For one thing, teeth... for another, they're a lot bigger and harder to hold. Nursing MG at 28 months was really hard on my back. If I didn't hold her correctly (hard on my back) she'd nurse funny (hard on my boob) so it was kind of a lose/lose. For a third, you may have another kid in the interim, and if you never listen to anything else I say, listen to this - tandem nursing is THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE and I felt like a dairy cow for 18 months (9 months pregnant, 9 months nursing 2) so DON'T do it unless you go in with your eyes wide open, knowing that it is going to suck (pun).
On the other hand, if you choose to nurse Claire until she's 3 or 4 or 5, I believe that you're strong enough and independent enough that you'll make the choice that is best for your kid and your family, regardless of what "society" thinks. Society thinks that Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are worth paying attention to, after all. Society isn't so bright.
Personally, I think that weaning at 1 year became "normal" because they're big enough that they don't seem like babies anymore, but they're still so small that they can't ask to nurse. It's a lot harder to wean when the kid is saying "Nur nur, Mommy, nur nur!" than when you can just say, "Hey look, something shiny..." and not have to hear about it, you know? Weaning at 12 months would've been way easier than weaning at 28 months and 21 months, which is how old my two were when they (finally!) stopped. Both times, I had to go away for a night (with MG I went away for 5 days, with Claire just one night) to get things started. It was hard, but necessary.
Guess it's time for another one...
Love ya kiddo, you're doing great!
Amy
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