Remembering

A year ago today I got a random and kind of shocking phone call from my dad that my Grandma had died. I was like, "What?" It's still incredibly sad to me that I lost my remaining 3 Grandparents by the time Claire was 1 1/2. Who wants to go to a funeral before their 6 week post-partum check? Here's some video footage of my maternal Grandparents. She said to wear yellow at her funeral. So we did. So weird...last October she was just having a blast watching Claire walk around for the first time. Claire didn't walk until the end of September and so when we went to see her in October, it was the first time she was able to see her walk. It was kind of ironic, as both Vernon and LaVerne were depending more and more on their wheelchairs. At our last visit, LaVerne was just laughing and giggling in the way that she did, commenting how by this time next year, Claire would really start talking. And boy, was she right. CLAIRE.LIKES.TO.TALK.!!! I think the hardest part was that Vernon was expected to go first and was in poor health, whereas LaVerne was pretty much fine and died of a sudden heart attack or stroke. So I was just thinking about that today and how fast and fleeting time is.

Mt. Horeb

We planted black-eyed Susans by my Grandparents' grave in Mt. Horeb. They wanted to have their children's names on the back of the stone.

It's ok to cry.

These are some random memories and thoughts, which I jotted down in the car (on the 8 hour ride!) and shared with everyone at the Funeral service.

• He loved travel.
• He loved driving.
• He loved exploring and hiking.
• He loved being at The Lake, swimming, and boating.
• He loved singing hymns and going to church.
• He loved buttery mashed potatoes and juicy meatloaf.
• He loved oatmeal raisin cookies with just a little hint of cinnamon and a glass of milk.
• He loved serving his country and serving his Lord.
• And he loved all of us in this room, even if he did not have the best of abilities to always express it.
• BUT, most of all, he loved LaVerne, his wife of over 58 years.
• They died about 4 months apart, or 139 days to be more exact.
• They only had one set of winter holidays apart, but never had to spend an Easter or wedding anniversary apart.
• So, I can just see them now--at the Old Country Buffet (their favorite restaurant) in heaven with a big plate of desserts and no worries about how healthy it is.
• I just wanted to say that it's ok to laugh at a funeral, and of course, it's ok to cry, too.
• Because when we cry at one funeral, we cry for all of those who have gone before, and for those yet to come. And it's not ok to cry at a funeral, I don't know where it would be. So instead of telling someone not to cry in the future, tell them "It's OK to cry" instead. Because after all, tears will wash the pain away --

Memories

In Loving Memory

I'M FREE

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free
I'm following the path God has chosen for me.
I took His hand when I heard him call;
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way;
I've now found peace at the end of day.

If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joys.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss;
Oh yes, these things, I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow
Look for the sunshine of tomorrow.

My life's been full, I savored much;
Good friends, good times, a loved ones touch.
Perhaps my time seems all to brief;
Don't lengthen your
pain with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and peace to thee,
God
wanted me now-He set me free.

Vernon's Funeral with Military Honors

Car ride to the funeral:



Unloading the casket:



Setting the casket up:



Graveside prayers:



Gun Salute and Taps:



American flag folded:



Flag given to family:

Yes, we AIM chat at home...

joshuagstarr: Grandma died Nov 12?
strwberryjoy: yup
joshuagstarr: 139 days between their deaths.
joshuagstarr: It is a Chen Prime.
joshuagstarr: 139 is the smallest prime before a prime gap of length 10.
strwberryjoy: what does that mean
joshuagstarr: A prime gap is the difference between two successive prime numbers.
joshuagstarr: 139 is neat, because it consists of prime, prime, square.
strwberryjoy: think it is significant?
strwberryjoy: my grandma would have had her birthday on March 23 which was right before he broke his neck
joshuagstarr: She didn't want to celebrate alone.
strwberryjoy: um
joshuagstarr: Hmm 23 is also a prime.
joshuagstarr: Also a good movie named after it.
strwberryjoy: that is Claire's baptismal birthday

Some interesting numbers

My Grandpa was born on a prime number (Feb 11) and died on a prime number, today (Mar 31). Why are prime numbers so cool? Well, because they are one of the building blocks of math. Also, did you know that the number of numbers between 2 square roots is a prime. What a cool natural pattern.

RIP

My Grandpa passed last night about 2:10 AM.

Ironic.

Claire was born at the same time.

Say a Prayer

Ok...this is from an email I wrote for my mom to send out to family and friends...her dad fell and broke his neck about a week ago and is not doing so hot...the latest news of Vernon. He had several rough nights. He was repeatedly rude and belligerent with the nurses. He was in a lot of pain and confused. He hit more than one nurse. He is very angry at himself for falling. My mom stayed the night on Friday night with him. He only let her sleep 3 hours. He has trouble sleeping due to the pain. He would wake up confused and fell on the floor twice since being back at Timbercrest and trying to get out of bed. My mom arranged for someone from Comfort Care to come sit with him Saturday night and help him if he needed company, blankets adjusted, etc. However, he hit the comfort care lady twice and she will not come back. He has even left a large bruise on my mom's arm, which I saw when she came her Sat. afternoon, and that mark clearly says to me he is not in his right state of mind.
He needs more pain medicine. The determination was made today for him to be entered into the Hospice Program. http://www.hospicenet.org/html/faq.html My mom, dad, Winnie, and Bob met with the Hospice intake person. He will be allowed liquid morphine every hour without having to remember to ask for it. He will be made as comfortable as possible. Hopefully, the change in pain medications will help him to not be so angry and belligerent. He can't be hitting anymore nurses or he'll have to be removed to a hospital where they can tie him down Winnie and Bob will be there for a few days, so he will have company for the next few days. He continues to make comments about wanting to join the Good Lord and Mother. I remember him saying he was ready to die since I was 16 (that was in 1996) and probably every visit since then. He would always tell me the average life expectancy for men.
He still says he wishes it would have been him who passed in Nov. instead of Grandma. He needs help to feed himself as well as a catheter/diaper and everything else involving his care. He was getting moved every 2 hours so as not to develop bed sores. He would not cooperate with physical therapy therapists to help him get his strength back from his neck issue. When they did the mental test, he only got 4 or 10 right (who is president, what time of year is it, etc). He has not walked in over 2 years due to his myasthenia gravis http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/myasthenia_gravis/detail_myasthenia_gravis.htm They thought his heart has been doing better lately, and he was having to take fewer nitro.
If you would like to plan to visit him soon, this would probably be a good idea. Or you may just choose to remember him how you wish the last time you saw him. There is no "expectation" on how long he has, but he was really looking forward to Holly's wedding and seeing everyone Easter weekend, but there is no way he'll be able to attend now as it's the weekend after next. When I was there last Saturday he said he wanted to take off his neck brace for the pictures, so I think him not being able to go will really devastate him. It takes 3 people to lift him, so it would really not be possible.
Please keep him on your prayer chains and forward this to anyone I missed.



And now for today...he is quickly declining since stopping his meds for m.g. and his congestive heart failure. He will probably not make it through the night.

I've called and said goodbye and he is with my mom, dad, Winnie and Bob. The pastor from Zion came and said a prayer service for the dying. The Timbercrest Chaplain has been in and out. Diane S. has also visited. Now it's just waiting for the Father to take him home.

Prayer Request

My Grandpa Vernon remains in ICU at Lutheran Hospital in Ft. Wayne after falling and breaking his neck yesterday afternoon. He was in his electric wheelchair. The wheel caught the edge of the ramp, and he fell out, landing on his head. He landed on his head and suffered damage in the C1 and C2 areas.
The neurosurgeon saw Vernon. He said he was not a surgical candidate after reviewing the chart info from mayo clinic that Arlene faxed because of all the heart problems. Vernon is insistent that he wants to leave. He wants to get out of bed, take his own pills, and not call on the call light. He is going to be wearing a hard surgical neck collar vs. a halo. The heart doctor also saw him as he was having a lot of pain probably due to stress and was started on another medication.
He will probably be in Health Care for 6-8 weeks upon returning to Timbercrest sometime next week.
Please add him to any prayer chains at your church!
Thanks!

Visiting Great-Grandpa

Claire and I visited her Great-Grandpa at Timbercrest for lunch on Friday on our way to Valpo. She ate well here, too! She dined on applesauce, cottage cheese, ice cream, and pudding.
All of the other little old ladies loved seeing Claire, as well.

She enjoyed scribbling on the menu and placemats. You can order what you want to eat off the the menus, and then they bring it out.

She has changed loveys from her pink carebear to this baby doll. I kind of miss the carebear. It was smaller and easier to wash!

Thanksgiving 1.0

Early Thursday morning on Thanksgiving Day, we ventured up to Timbercrest to visit my Grandpa and Grandma...err...just my Grandpa. I keep saying that wrong! Here is a wedding picture of them almost 59 years ago:
I wanted to take a picture of Holly and Mark. I told them to put their head together. This is what I get:

Well at least you can see their faces now:

Me, Josh, Claire and my Grandpa Vernon.

Holly, Me, Claire, and Grandpa Vernon

We then ventured down to the cafeteria for some pressed-formed turkey and instant mashed potatoes along with some burned pumpkin pie and some jello salad with bits of pineapple and cream cheese in it that absolutely made me gag. But it was only Thanksgiving 1.0. HEY! I copyright that! How does copyright stuff work on a blog anyway? I call leftover food 2.0, 3.0, etc. to make it more appealing to Josh! :) Computer boy!

Vernon's 82nd

As I was going through old pictures and videos last night, I found this video with my Grandma on it. I think it's the last footage we have with her on it. It was in mid-Feb. My birthday is on my Grandpa's birthday. Pretty amazing that my mom had me on that exact day without being induced or anything!!! Josh's birthday is the day after mine (same year even!). He likes like his older women. ;) In the video we were getting ready to take some shots of Claire for her 6 month picture. In case you didn't know, my dad is a photographer. We didn't just randomly find a cool background in the room.

Family Pictures

Claire with her cousin Mark (12 years old), Daddy, and Uncle Richie. Oh, and that must be Oma on the left with her flip cam!
Glama Lynn and Grandpa Jason sent this dress for last Easter along with the shrug. She wore it for her 1st birthday pictures that I sent out on the invites and it still fits! So it was perfect since it's yellow! She even wore the yellow shoes from the Lees! She was wearing the super thick tights and a warm onesie, so she was plenty warm, no worries!

Mark had a good time playing with Claire during the visitation hours. Claire did great all day! Well except at supper after it all...then she got a 2nd wind and was alright!

Claire loves this little baby doll. She drags it around now in public instead of the CareBear. She still loves the Bear too, I just don't like washing it. The doll seems to be easier to spot wash.

Here is a picture of people taking pictures of the people below (Pictures of picture taking?...I thought it was a funny idea.)

My Great-Aunt Gladys's kids: Lonnie, Vern, Beth, and with their Uncle Vernon.

My mom with her older brother Victor (L) and younger brother John (R) and their dad.

Visit to Timbercrest

So this past Sunday, Josh went to a Colts game with Alex. In the new stadium. And the Colts won. And he got sunburned since the dome was open, and he's pasty. Poor Joshie :( I'm sure he had a lot more fun than if he would've come with Claire and I to visit my side of the family.
I trucked on up to the Fort Wayne area to visit my Grandparents, Claire's GREAT-grandparents, and have Claire meet her Great-Aunt Winnie and Great-Uncle Bob for the first time ever! My Grandparents live in a retirement village called Timbercrest which is in a little town outside of Fort Wayne. According to the GPS it's only 86 miles from here to there.

Here am I holding Claire and trying not to notice all the bees flying around the flowers. Yikes. Winnie and Bob match...how cute!!

Here is Winnie and Vernon. Winnie looks like my Great-Grandma Adeline, who passed when I was in 8th grade, but I can remember pretty well.

We are in one of the lounges in Timbercrest. We decided to go down there because their apartment was totally not baby-proof. She was pulling all their books and CDs off their shelves. She's our little destroyer.

L-R seated: Bob, Winnie, Vernon, LaVerne. Standing: Arlene, Maria and Claire. Good job to my dad...I don't think he was in a single picture all day, although he took several, like this one!

Ahh. I did capture my dad on the video camera.