Saturday, August 22, 2009

Ready to have kids?

So You Want To Have Children? (from this site: http://www.allowe.com/Humor/book/So%20You%20Want%20To%20Have%20Children.htm )

Preparation
Women:
Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
Leave it there.
Every week, add another beanbag.
After 9 months, remove 2 beanbags.
Men:
Go to your pharmacy.
Empty your wallet on the counter.
Tell the pharmacist to help himself
Go to the supermarket.
Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their front office.
Go home.
Read the newspaper… for the last time.
Knowledge
Find a couple with children.
Berate them about their lack of discipline, lack of patience, low tolerance, and how their children run wild.
Suggest how they can improve their child’s sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and general behavior.
Enjoy it while it lasts. It's the last time you'll have all the answers.
Nights
Turn the radio on to some loud screaming station.
Walk around the room from 5 to 10 PM carrying a 10 pound bag of wet goo while the station screams.
At 10 PM, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
Get up at 11 and walk the bag around until 1 AM.
Set the alarm for 3. Since you can’t get to sleep, get up at 2 and make tea.
Go to bed at 2:30.
Get up at 3 AM when the alarm goes off.
Sing songs in the dark until 4.
Set the alarm for 5. Get up when it goes off.
Make breakfast.
Repeat for four years. Look cheerful!
Dressing Small Children
Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.
Time allowed: 5 minutes.
Cars
Sell the BMW.
Buy a 5-door wagon.
Put a large chocolate ice cream cone in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
Put a peanut butter sandwich in the CD player.
Mash a box of chocolate cookies into the back seat.
Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Going For a Walk
Wait.
Go out the front door.
Go back inside.
Go outside.
Come back in.
Go outside.
Walk down the front sidewalk.
Walk back up it.
Walk down it again.
Walk very slowly along the street for 5 minutes.
Stop at every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead bug along the way. Inspect each minutely. Ask at least 6 questions about each.
Retrace your steps.
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbors come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.
Repeat for 5 years.
Patience
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.
Grocery Shopping
Go to the supermarket. Take along the nearest thing to a pre-school child: a fully grown goat. (If you plan to have more than one child, take more than one goat.)
Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) get out of your sight.
Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Feeding a 1 year-old
Prepare a bowl of cornflakes.
Hollow out a melon through a small hole in one side.
Suspend the melon from the ceiling.
Swing it back and forth.
Spoon the soggy cornflakes into the swaying melon while making airplane noises.
When at least half of the cornflakes are gone, pour the rest on your clothes and the floor.
TV
Learn the names of every character from every episode of the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies, and every Disney movie.
Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.
Cleanliness
Smear peanut butter on your sofa.
Smear jam on your curtains.
Hide a fish behind the stereo. Leave it there all summer.
Stick your fingers in dirt. Rub them on your walls.
Color your other walls with crayons.
Traveling
Make a recording of someone shouting “Mommy!” over and over. (There may be no more than 4 seconds between each shout.)
Include the occasional crescendo to the approximate decibel level of a fighter jet.
Play this tape in your car continuously the 5 years.
Conversations
1. Start a conversation with another adult.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your pants and shirtsleeves while playing the tape prepared above.
Get Dressed
1. On a day when you have an important meeting, wear your nicest work attire.
3. Put 1 cup of lemon juice into a cup of cream. Stir.
5. Pour half of it on your shirt.
6. Saturate a towel with the other half.
7. Attempt to clean your shirt by rubbing it with the saturated towel.
8. Do not change clothes. You're late already!
9. Go directly to work.

You are now ready to have children.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Good Ole Grub!

We recently meet Daddy for lunch while Matt and Brooke while visiting. We went to YATS on MASS AVE!
This is their funky ceiling:



They don't have menus, just a chalkboard with today's offerings.



Their food is pretty spicy, so we just got Claire plain white rice with butter, which she of course, loved!




Here are Matt and Josh ready to dig into the good old sloppity-gloppity grub!





Their food may look like vomit, but it's always really thick and hearty stews and chilis...and VERY CHEAP! You get a HUGE plate of food for like 5 bucks. They also have all the funky Cajun stuff like gumbo, jambalaya, crawfish, and shrimp.








New Stuffs

Well come check out my new stuffs. I added some awesomely and not-too-annoying blinkies on my sidebar of my blog. I changed the background, header photo, as well as the subtitle of our blog. I removed the labels because I added the "search" tool which seems much faster. What do you think? Should I put the labels back? I also added a "Blog Roll" at the bottom of blogs that I read regularly. If you want me to add or remove you, just let me know! If you don't have the "feed reader" thing active, you may not show up there.

Peanut Butter Playdough!

Today we enjoyed an early morning walk before the rain rolled in. Then we got some BBQ pork going in the crock pot and made some carrot-raisin muffins. They are fun to make...Claire loves the "Muffin Man" song! We also made cream cheese frosting to put on them. Claire loves to lick the beater! Then since it was raining, I decided to get crafty and continue my cooking streak today by trying out "Peanut Butter Playdough."
It was AWESOME! It actually tasted really good and doubled as a snack for both of us :) Hehe! It tastes like the peanut butter balls. Claire and I are huge peanut butter fans!

The recipe is this easy: 2 cups of powdered sugar, 1 cup of peanut butter, and 1/2 cup of honey. However, do not try to get all the honey that is stuck to the side of your honey bear off, by putting in the microwave for 1 minute, even on half power. It will melt your bears face into a very funny and sad looking proportion and probably leech all sorts of toxic plastic-y chemicals into the honey. Then you will just end up throwing away the honey that was originally stuck to the sides anyways. Be sure to double click on this bear picture for a full sized look:


Yes, it was absolutely glorious, fun to squish and play with, and I didn't have to tell Claire not to eat/lick/bite/chew or otherwise gum the playdough 42 times. I heard about edible playdough on JON AND CATE PLUS 8. I actually get lots of good ideas from her on what to do and what not to do...lol! I looked up a recipe online and there are a billion out there. Most of them call for flour or nonfat dry milk powder. I looked for one that I simply had all the ingredients for. I didn't want to go to the store in the rain today!

Go make some now to eat. Screw letting the kids play with the dough. This stuff is manna!


Boycott Olive Garden

Hey! It's time to boycott the Olive Garden: http://ecochildsplay.com/2009/08/19/breastfeeding-mother-asked-to-leave-olive-garden/ Here is their company website: https://www.olivegarden.com/company/contact_us/ Please take 2 seconds to leave a comment about how sad and disappointed you are to learn about the situation regarding how they handled the breastfeeding. Who cares if her boobie was out the top of a halter top...many people are dressed like that anyways.

Thanks for taking the time to drop Olive Garden a comment!

Monday, August 17, 2009