Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Why not to Spank

I was raised not being spanked. We also plan on not spanking. I know people that spank their kids and understand it's a personal choice. But it's not a choice I'm going to make. Here is a great blog about it http://phdinparenting.com/2008/11/04/best-anti-spanking-resources/ I know people that spank babies as young as 9 months, and frankly, it breaks my heart. Baby-proof your house, make sure your child is well-rested, well-feed, and has plenty of attention throughout the day...and and really you should avoid the issues of spanking.

Preventative discipline people. Just like in teaching. Don't allow something to become an issue or "leave something" open to become an issue. This is something that unless you have had a child I don't think you can truly understand. This is because the baby goes from a newborn blob to slowly mobile. First just reaching and rolling a little bit slowly. Then rolling more and grabbing better and farther. Then this is when you realize how to baby-proof. Your baby will show you what needs to be baby-proofed. And thank goodness, we are not like horses or something, whose babies can walk within a few hours of giving birth! We don't have to baby-proof for SEVERAL months.

I think this is yet another great plan of God's to get the parents slowly used to the idea of a baby and such! But until that baby becomes a mobile crawling machine, I never realized that babies get into everything. What age do babies stop? Never? LOL! But basically you can't punish the baby for exploring its environment at this age, anymore than you can spank it for talking in the middle of church...it doesn't know any better. Now I know the meaning of that saying. "Children just don't know any better." They really don't.

And it really breaks my heart to hear a mom say "Don't hit!" to a kid that's hitting and then smack it. GEE! What a great way to show what you mean!....NOT! I just can't imagine the fear in a child that would be randomly hit for random reasons. Hurry up! SMACK. Sit down! SMACK! I think there are enough tough knocks in our world and parents don't need to be one of them.

I also have had several parents say to me, "Oh, we were never going to spank, either! You just wait. Just wait till the terrible twos." It drives me nuts. REALLY! It makes wonder how awful their kids were...or how awful they were to their kids...

And no, I highly doubt you're going to randomly check in with me and find me spanking anymore than you would find me with a bottle of evil formula plugged into a future babe's mouth. And no, I don't condemn you if you spank, have spanked, or see no problem with spanking.

I just think it's INCREDIBLY wrong, sets up huge issues, and and and...

Would you spank a dog or cat? No? Why? Because it doesn't work! Why is it going to work with a little human? It's not! It's merely going to give them something to hold against you in the future.

One of the most interesting journal entries I had my students write while I was teaching was "What would you do differently as a parent than your parents did with you?" (I had my kids write daily journals when I taught English. I read them all daily as well. It only equalled about 20 lines in journal notebook, and I could read each in about less than 1 minute each and grade them all in about half of my block prep, daily. (I read fast...you have to if you are an English major. But consider the grade level they are writing on too. Very easy to read!) I digress.) The most common journal was "I wouldn't spank!" No kids ever wrote "I would spank!" Of course you also had the absurd, yet funny entries, like bigger allowances, etc...

Ok, so that's my view on that...and at 15 months, no, I don't have a ton of experience with "real discipline" issues, because she's never had a tantrum. If she melts down, it's because she's over-tired and not getting what she needs...sleep!

So this time change is killing me. I HATE IT! I hate it getting dark out so early, don't you? But on the plus side, Claire is going to bed at 7. But that's bad as she wants to get up at 7, and I'd like to sleep another hour. BOO. Should I spank her for that? ;)

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