A big day for some little ears!

Today we went to an ENT in Indy since Alex has 3+ ear infections in the past 4 months.  Yikes.  Basically, tubes are recommended.  There seem to be 2 schools of thought on them.  They are awesome or...they are not needed.  Hmm.  What to do?  Any pointers?  I really don't want to mess around with hearing.  And reading an article like this doesn't help.

In other big news, Claire has been asking for earrings for the past...oh YEAR, at least.  She always wants to point out other little girls that have them when we are out and about.  So today...we took the leap...she got earrings!  She opted for the white gold 3 mm cubic zirconium!  They look adorable on her, especially since her hair is still very short.  I was looking at pictures of last Christmas, and she seriously had about the amount of hair on her head then as Alex does now at 8 months.  Go figure.  We of course got them down at Claire's which is totally geared for kids.

She watched 2 teenaged girls (12-14ish) get earrings, which was a great example for her.  I told her she didn't have to get them today if she didn't want to.  We could just look at the earrings and come back.   But she was so excited.  She picked out her earrings then they had me sit her on my lap.  Alex was watching in the stroller, while smacking merchandise within reach.

She got both done at the exact same time (2 ladies)  and DID.  NOT.  EVEN.  SAY.  OUCH!  I was so surprised because I thought she would at least whine!  But she also did not cry when she got her flu shot this fall.  I asked around quite a lot and Claire's seems to be the best place to do them because they do not reuse the shooter cartridges at all.  They trash them, but some places sterilize them and reuse them.  They used gloves, too.  When she was done she got a sticker and sucker.  She also got a bag with cleaner that said "I JUST GOT MY EARS PIERCED AT CLAIRE'S" which is hot pink.  Totally saving that because I'm a dork like that.

Too Cute to Correct

Some things Claire says lately:

She says Evening vs. even.  Example sentence:  "I can "evening" reach Alex's car seat."

She says Activity scene vs. Nativity scene.

She says Belly cord vs. Umbilical cord

I love it!

You'll shoot your eye out!

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Do you guys love watching The Christmas Story every year?  If so, then you have to watch this one minute video of our family...recapping the story!  Enjoy!  (Not sure if a feedreader will pick the video up, so click on over!)

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas!

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart!  If you're in a feed reader, click over to my blog to watch this one minute video starring our family!

Some Rambling Ongoings...

What did I do today?  Not much.  Rolled over, nursed Alex.  Gave Claire my phone to play with to buy me an extra 15 minutes of dozing.  Got up, put away 3 loads of laundry, fed the kids and myself breakfast.  Alex loves Kix and Cheerios and can pick them up really well by himself!
Got all 3 of us dressed.  This usually takes about 30 minutes!  That's actually pretty good...about 10 minutes each.  Then we headed downtown for the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus which was indeed the Greatest Show on Earth!  Amazing!  I haven't been to a circus in well over a decade, and it was just as much fun for me as for Claire, and even Alex who loved looking around!!!
Afterwards, we stopped at a Chicken and Waffle Restaurant.  Yup, you didn't misread that.  Chicken served on waffles.  AMAZING soul food!  And Claire loved the pancakes and eggs, too!
We came home and Claire and I stomped around in the snow for a bit while Alex finished his 3rd nap for the day...he had taken one in the early morning before we left, and another one at the circus.  He is a big sleeper!  Claire did not sleep this much at this age!
Hmm...then we went inside to warm up and do some more laundry.  Then Alex went down again after about 2 hours and Claire and I headed back out in the snow.  I shoveled and salted the driveway.  It was so nice out for being Dec.!!!  Claire was able to have a blast help shoveling the snow and throwing it around.
For dinner we had cold cereal since we had had a big lunch.  Worked out well. ;)  And easy clean-up!
I love how helpful Claire is now.  I was remaking her bed and told her to go downstairs to get the blanket out of the dryer.  She totally did.  Score!  She can also take in the outdoor trash cans when they are empty.  I'm trying to remind myself to be patient and teach her how to do things because it will pay off in the long run.  Like now she knows how to open the fridge and help her self to some snacks in there for her, like cheese or grapes.  She also knows how to get an apple out of the bowl and wash it for herself.  It can only get easier.
Anyways, we finally got the new camera in!  Yay...now we just need a memory card for it...

Gummy Grins

The days of Alex's gummy grins are numbered!  Why?  BECAUSE he is now getting his first tooth on the bottom middle!  Although I can't tell quite which side it is yet, but in a few more days we'll be seeing it really well!

 Here is Alexander with his cousin Nolan, my sister Holly's little boy. 

Aren't they cute in their little matching diaper covers?!?

 Look at those cute baby tootsies!  And notice, Nolan is a big-footed boy!

 Alexander has also discovered his feet and likes to put them in his mouth!

My Exciting Part Time Job!

I won't keep you waiting any longer!  I am now selling Discovery Toys!  They have some super duper cool stuff.  Check them out here: http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/maria-starr  Happy Browsing!  Feel free to place an order, contact me for a show or catalog show if you want lots of free product, or just look around to see some popular items this year!

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Should I do Christmas cards?

Every year about this time, I start thinking about Christmas cards. I LOVE Christmas cards, don't you? I love getting them practically every day in December. It makes trudging out to the mail box in the cold winter totally worth it, wondering if there will be any Christmas cards in there! I guess I started my love of Christmas cards when I was little by helping my mom who sent out Christmas cards and letters every year.

It's quite a job...first you have to write the cards to people and sign them. Then comes the "Christmas letter" with a brief update of what everyone has been doing all year, good and bad. And then comes the not so fun part of addressing the cards with the to and from labels and putting the stamps on...and then the least fun part of all...sealing all the dang cards!

And every year, for the past several years, during the month of November, I always tell Josh, I don't think I feel like doing Christmas cards this year.  It's too much work.  BUT every year, once that first incoming card hits our box, I have to rush to prepare our cards to send out.  It's a pretty cool American tradition, actually.  It's a nice way to keep in touch with people from the past, as well as present people, of course.  BUT it is a lot of work!!!


However, in the end it's all worth it because in order to get Christmas cards, YOU HAVE TO SEND THEM. ;)   I figure if I stopped sending cards out, I wouldn't get any in my mailbox.  I started doing picture cards with Shutterfly a few years back when Claire was a baby, and was super pleased at how easy they were to do. I always have fun looking around at different sites to see what kind of layouts and designs they have every year, but Shutterfly always wins my vote. Check out these super cute Holiday cards that the have this year: http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/holiday-cards


Last Feb. I made a book with Shutterfly with "Flat Chloe" and loved the end result. It was super easy to upload and work on their site.  They had all the premade scrapbooking pages set up and it was super easy to do.  I have used Shutterfly in the past for photo cars.  I like that there are so many things you can personalize about it.  You pick the design and the picture/s you want to use.  You can also crop and edit pictures on their site.  So, I could edit out these mystery photo hands in this picture. ;)  Or I could crop out Nolan and Alexander, and just use a the head shot of Claire.


 
What I also like is that on the picture cards, you can include more than one picture, because it's pretty dang hard to pick JUST one picture.  Especially if you can easily take, like 242 pictures in one weeks time.  That's pretty unheard of in the day of negative-requiring photography.
 
I really really like this photo card:

I would of course, have to put my kids in there.  Check out the pricing here  I think that they are very reasonable as far as photo cards go.  My favorite has always been the flat photo card in the past, but I'm not quite sure what exactly I'll be doing this year.  I can't spoil it and tell you all the details or show you the pictures that I'm going to be using, quite yet!
 
If you wanna take a look for yourself at some of the other layouts you can check them out here:



· holiday photo cards to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery

· Christmas cards to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-cards

· holiday cards to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/holiday-cards



And to top it all off, Shutterfly is offering 50 free holiday cards of your choosing for doing something as simple as we just did....write a blog post about them. If you are interested, here is how you do it...

Bloggers get 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly… sign up: http://bit.ly/sfly2010

Other Recent Happenings

Confession:  I'm not going to apologize if I don't update as often as I like.  Reality is, REAL LIFE takes precedence over blogging, any day!  During the summer, I would walk almost every day with Claire while Alexander slept in the stroller.  We would sometimes walk with various neighbors or throw rocks in the neighborhood pond.  I REALLY miss walking, but today we went to the museum and walked a lot there.  If I refer to the "museum" it will be The Indianapolis Children's Museum, which is the WORLD'S LARGEST!  I seriously wished we lived RIGHT smack downtown and the kids could go to preschool there.  SUCH A COOL PLACE!  Also, we didn't take any elevators and I parked far away so we'd get more walking in getting inside.  I'd like to go the museum weekly, but we make it about twice a month, although I'll probably start going weekly in the winter because we can't go play outside!

We finally got Alexander's room done!  This was a royal mess.  We have had a guest room downstairs with 2 twin beds.  We first had to empty out the entire guest room and closet in there and get it completely empty.  THEN Josh had to move his giant desk and computers all downstairs.  Then I put the changing table dresser and matching upright dresser into where Josh's old office used to be.  I found a super cute fireman book shelf and tonka truck bench at Once Upon A Child (separate times) so he has some boyish stuff going on in there.

Then I pulled all the board books from Claire's shelves minus a few girlie ones, and filled up his new fire man book shelf.  I also pulled all the baby toys from her room and put them in his room.  I've also been swapping clothes out like crazy since he's been growing so fast!  He is wearing 24 months clothes!  He has outgrown almost everything that has been handed down to us.  Sigh.  My kids grow too fast!!!  Claire is wearing about a size 5 in clothes and size 12 shoes.  She is the tallest girl in her class, like I ALWAYS was!  And everyone guesses Claire is 5 or 6.  She won't even be 3 1/2 for two whole months!  I try to keep both of my kids in babyish/younger looking clothes for this reason: to make them look younger!  I also had Claire's hair trimmed when we were recently in VA Beach, as 1) it's pain to take care of and 2) shorter hair does indeed make kids look younger!  At least I think so.  I don't know?  What are your thoughts on that?

We've had an expensive week.  Claire's preschool tuition was due early because of the holidays.  Then, we had a furnace repair.  THEN I needed 4 new tires.  The front 2 were bald and the back 2 were nearly bald.  Don't they check these things on oil changes?  Oh, and Christmas is in about a month.  SO in other exciting news, I pretty much broke our good camera, which accounts for the SEVERE lack of pictures lately, as well as here and on Facebook.  I do apologize for the poor-quality phone pictures on Facebook lately.  However, Josh has ordered a new point and shoot camera for me, so I'm very excited about this!  The camera will no longer require two hands.

But the most exciting news is....I got a part-time job!  ***Very part-time.  What is it, you do say?  Well, I shall leave you hanging.  I'll post again soon about that!

Happy 7 Months to my Big Baby Boy!

WOW!  Alexander turned 7 whole months today!  The time has sure flown by!  It seems that time just keeps flying!  Alex sits very well unsupported, but I still keep a hand or pillow close by.  He is indeed my little pumpkin:

 He is my little belly boy and absolutely LOVES being on his belly.  He also sleeps on his belly most of the time!  He rolls onto his stomach the second you put him down on his back and can push up quite far, as well as airplane very well. 

 Holly's friend, Leah, took these beautiful photos while we were recently visiting in VA Beach.  Alex has killer blue eyes and everyone says so.  If I could have a buck for everyone who commented on his eyes, he would have a fat college fund going already.

 He is my little giggly happy boy and loves to smile!  He weighed 23.14 a week ago at the breastfeeding group and has already outgrown his pumpkin seat.  He now is riding in a rear-facing (of course!) convertible seat, which fits his 29 inch, 24 month size-wearing frame much better!

Other things about Alexander at 7 months:

• loves to be tickled and is very ticklish around his neck and will usually giggle when getting undressed/dressed
• has discovered that he is a boy when taking a bath or getting a diaper change 
• LOVES to jump in his jumper
• loves tags/taggie toys and chewing on anything he can get his hands on, esp. paper!
• loves being outside
• loves splashing in the tub
• loves eating foods and has been crazy about everything I've given him!
• favorite foods seem to be peaches, applesauce, and bananas
• absolutely refuses to take a paci and has for a little over the past month (he just wants the real thing!  Momma's pacifiers! LOL!)
• enjoys watching Claire run and play
• I think he likes to be on his belly so he can look around and play
• can scoot/roll pretty good
• is a great sleeper, and still sleeps more than awake, down to about 3 longer naps or 4-5 shorter ones
• will sleep 12 hours, nursing only 2-3 times at night

A Whirlwind Week!

Last Wednesday morning, I flew out to visit my sister Holly who lives in VA Beach.  I brought Claire and Alexander with me and Daddy had to work.  (Haha.  Sorry, Josh.  Thanks for working so hard!)  This is what our week looked like:

Wednesday:  Travel day and settle in and then whoosh...here begins the Mommy meeting tour!

Thursday:
Morning - 
Attended a clothing Exchange at a nearby church.  You bring 10 items, and you get to swap 10 other items.  We scored a 4T snow suit and a bunch of stuff for trading tiny newborn clothes that really nobody else in this family is going to wear!
Attended Best Milk Bistro with Hollly and our kiddos.  It's like a BF'ing support group with a scale.  All the kids/babies wore costumes so it was super fun!
Late Afternoon -
Went to Target and Babies R Us.
Evening -
Went to dinner at the Cheesecake factory.  Super yum

Friday:
Morning -
Went to a LLL meeting at someone's house with a giant yard, including a play house, tree house, swing set, giant sandbox, and plenty of room to run.  They had to be about 20 women and 30 kids/babies there.  Maybe more.  It was by far the biggest meeting I've gone to!  It was fun, of course, and Claire had a great time in their playroom, too!

Saturday:
Morning-
Watched Holly and Mark run a 10 K with baby Nolan, now three months in their jogger.  Everyone dressed up so that was a BLAST to watch!

Sunday:
Morning-
Went to church with Holly.  It was Reformation Sunday, and so there were 5 confirmands.  (Basically in the Lutheran church, where we practice infant baptism, the young adults are "confirmed" which is an affirmation of their baptism.)
Late afternoon-Went trick-or-treating at the mall.  It was packed and 80% of the stores were out of candy.
6 pm - BEGIN the trick-or-treat!   Claire had an absolute blast.  She wore a pink dress and crown and declared herself SLEEPING BEAUTY!

Monday:
Park Playdate with AP group.  Holly brought the parachute she has and balls to bounce on it.  The kids had a blast! :)   We brought a picnic lunch with peanut butter sandwhichs and Claire got to run around on a great big playground complete with swings, which oddly seem missing from lots of playgrounds these days!
Clothes Horse consignment shopping.  I spent $35 and got Claire a huge bag of clothes, all marked down.  I got her lots of solid colored wardrobe basics that will match other various items she already has
Evening -  Indian food out!  NOM!  Alex also tried bites of the Buttered Chicken, Chicken Marsala, and Curry Chicken (all mild) and loved them all as much as I did! :)

Tuesday:
10 am - ANOTHER LLL meeting!  This one was smaller and Claire loved playing with the little girls whose house it was.  They had a princess room and a big Barbie house!  Wawa for lunch subs and another store for more consignment sales shopping

Wed -  We got our hair chopped off in the morning!  Me, Claire, and Holly.  Well, Claire just got a trim ;)  I got my hair super cute!  I'll have to post pictures soon!

For lunch we went to a place for Seafood place called Bubba's for lunch.  Then we raced back to Holly's to grab the 3 suitcases and rushed to the airport at 2..only to find that my 3:45 flight was delayed a full hour.  FUN!  So that meant my connecting flight would be missed in Baltimore.  So my layover was rerouted through to Chicago.  We ended up not getting home until nearly 11pm. 

Luckily, Alex is a great sleeper ANYWHERE and slept the entire 2 flights (nursing on take offs and landings when he was awake).  Claire slept most of the first flight which was longer.  Anyways, she was still up this morning and wanted to go to preschool so I took her.  Then we all took a 3 1/2 hour nap this afternoon.  No 8pm bedtime today ;)

Silly Blogger!

I was going to set my blog to private, and I did.  Then I decided, well, my life is really NOT that interesting to anybody.  And I'm to lazy to add everyones email address and send them invites.  And there you have it folks, THAT IS THE TRUTH!  Please give me a round of applause for finishing that silly 30 day blog Challenge.  And remind me not to do one of those again! 
THE END!

30 Day Challenge -- Day 30

30 Day Challenge -- Day 30 -- A Dream for the Future:

That both of my kids will sleep through the night without tears and be able to wipe their own butts.  That is in the future.  :)

30 Day Challenge: Day 29

30 Day Challenge:  Day 29 - Hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days!

Wow.  I can so not think that far ahead!  Just spending more time with my friends and family, esp. my sweet babies!

30 Day Challenge: Day 28

30 Day Challenge:  Day 28 - What is in your handbag/purse?

I don't carry a purse.  I carry a diaper bag and have for 3 years plus! :)

•  I have a minimum of 3 diapers for Alex, or generally about 1 per hour that we are going to be gone for.
• Pack of diaper wipes
• Pack of boogie wipes
• Pack of paci/toy wipes
• Pack of disinfecting wipes
• Mini-Lysol bottle (can u see my ocd)
• Extra plastic bags
• Snacks like granola bars
• 2 flavors gum minimum
• 3 chapsticks (one for me, and one for each of my kids...don't share that stuff!)
• pack of mini-kleenex
• about 6-12 pens
• coloring book
• coloring pencils
• wallet with checkbook, etc in it (a giant wallet btw :) !!!)
• complete outfit change for each child...you'll never know when spills/accidents happen
• pantyliner (Yay for lactational amenorehra!)
• Extra paci
• Sunglasses for me and Claire
• Hat for Alex
• Keys
• Phone (although this is laying on my desk at the moment)
• Disposable food bibs
• Disposable changing pads (oh, the environment hates me! ack!)
• Toothpicks
• 5 tubes of mini Aquaphor samples I jacked from the peds office (I forgot I had these! SCORE!)
• Another pen...wow
• A permanent marker (In case I need to write in the bathroom stall?  I don't know why that's in there!)
• Swim ear
• Some barrettes/hairties
• Napkins/straws/plastic spoons
• Mini Hairbrush
• A couple toys for Alex

Wow!  And you wonder why Moms have empty strollers in front of them as they carry or sling their baby?  Well, it's to push that 45 pound diaper bag around.  OH!  Plus I normally put a bottle of water in each end pocket, but not right now.   And my bag is officially cleaned out now with only the above items.  You should see it when it's full.  I love my diaper bag.  :)  It was a $70 one with a leather bottom that I scored at 2nd hand shop, brand new with tags for less than 20!   I LOVE IT and have gotten so many complements on the crazy pattern on it!

30 Day Challenge: Day 27

30 Day Challenge:  Day 27 YOUR WORST HABIT:
PROCRASTINATION!  (See dates on previous challenge posts.)

30 Day Challenge: Day 26 -- Your week, in great detail.

30 Day Challenge: Day 26 -- Your week, in great detail.

Trust me.  I'm not going into great detail.  And wow.  I started this challenge in um, August.  It is now...mid-October!  Let's just say my weeks consist of many things.  Claire goes to preschool 3 days/week and story times at the library once a week and tumbling once a week.  We go to the park and go on walks and generally do a lot of stuff.  Hence the lack of posts! :)  Alexander sleeps a lot and nurses a lot and is rolling both ways really fast! 

Privacy Issues

I am setting this blog to private for various issues. If you are my facebook friend, I will be sending you an invite to look at this blog over the next couple of weeks. If you are not my facebook friend and have been following this blog, please send me a facebook friend request and tell me who you are and I will also send you an invite to view my blog. Thanks for your understanding.

30 Day Challenge: Day 25

30 Day Challenge: Day 25 - Your day, in great detail

Sunday, 7 am - I'll count this as the time my day "started" since that's when Claire woke up for the day. She always announces to me that she's going potty in the morning. I rolled over and nursed Alex and tried to doze some more. She noticed my phone and wanted to play the "Talking Tom" application. This bought me some more time dozing. SCORE! By the way, you should totally get the Talking Tom app if you have kids. It can become incredibly annoying, but it's so worth keeping them occupied. It is a Tomcat that repeats whatever the kids says in about 5 second increments.
7:30-I roll out of bed and shove Claire out the room so Alex can sleep some more. I get her and I dressed for church directly out of the laundry baskets sitting in her room. Awesome. Fewer items to think about folding. I have some leftover pizza for breakfast, but Claire just wants a granola bar. She eats about 1/4 of it. She's not a big eater in the mornings. I fold 2 baskets of laundry in Claire's room before Alex wakes up about 8:30.
I get Alex dressed and change his 42 lb. overnight diaper. He is wearing his "Little Brother" shirt and Claire has on her "Big Sister" shirt. I nurse him again and get the dishwasher fired up for the day. I load the paper recycle in the car and call in a refill for my anti-depressant script. If you missed my post about my PPD, you can read that one here. And sidenote***can I just say how awesome all of you gentle readers are! I got so many messages on facebook and email, I haven't even had the time to respond to them yet. I even got a couple of real life cards! AWESOME!
9:30 - We are leaving for church! Claire wants to wear her pink princess high heels since they are dress up for church. Sigh. I tell her that she has to wear regular sandals, or we can't leave. She immediately puts on sandals. This doesn't always work that well. I'm surprised she complied.
9:35 - I dump all the paper recycle at the bin in front of Wal-Mart. I drive thru Walgreens and pick up my script. Clearly, I love the drive-thru pharmacy with 2 kids. No need to lug two kids in. And Alex has fallen asleep again, you know, since he was up an hour!
10- We get to church and I check in the office about his baptism scheduling and talk to the pastor about a few things.
10:15 - We get to the nursery and get settled in there. We put our street shoes in the cubbies and put on special "church" socks to keep the nursery floor clean. It's my turn to "work" in the nursery this week, but the pastors wife is in there most of the time to help. The kids color a picture when the sermon starts so we can try to hear it over the speaker system. I nurse Alex again. He is happy to play on the floor or in the saucer until we leave.
Noon- Try to leave church and sneak past the cake/refreshments, but Claire sees the spread. I decide that it looks good enough to eat lunch there, so Claire and I eat there while Alex falls asleep in his carseat carrier, again.
1- Arrive home. Josh is up and happy to see us. Claire wants some pizza with Daddy for lunch, which is fine because the only thing she ate was some frosting off of the cake that they had. I see this opportunity as hmm...time for me to go take an afternoon nap with Alex! So I sleep with Alex until about 4. He is such a great sleeper. It was quite possibly the best nap ever.
4 - I get up and we decide to watch an episode of GLEE! since it is raining outside. Josh holds Alex and Claire wants to nurse since she didn't see me for GASP three hours! So I comply, plus she has a bit of a stuffy nose, and I know it will help clear her up faster if I let her nurse more. Well, she fell asleep. LOVE THAT ABOUT NURSING! :) Did you know that there are chemicals in the breastmilk to help kids fall asleep...just like a baby. So I enjoyed holding my big baby Claire for awhile before my legs started to fall asleep! I slid her on the couch next to me and she stayed asleep so then I could nurse Alex again. BTW. I'm sure you don't want to read about all the diaper changes or nursing sessions here, so I'm just putting in what I remember.
5- I get up from the couch and not sure how to think of GLEE! and fold some more laundry. I am always behind on laundry. I pick out Claire's outfits for the week for her color days and lay them aside. Alex rolls around on the floor and is starting to scoot. He spends more time on his tummy than anything. I put him on his back when I lay him down and he flips on his belly right away!
5:30. I start wondering if I should wake up Claire since I don't want her up at midnight since she had a long late nap.
5:45. Claire wakes up on the couch, next to Josh and does a "FTFO" (what I affectionately call FREAK THE F OUT! as only Claire can do). I was actually glad Josh could see what she does when she wakes up most of the time.
6 - We eat leftover pizza. Dang pizza. I am so sick of it at this point. I NEVER WANT PIZZA AGAIN! I paint Claire's fingers and toes yellow for her "YELLOW!" day at preschool tomorrow.
6:30 - There is a rainbow from the rain. Claire and I go outside barefoot to see it. I think our footprints look really cool on the concrete so I snap a photo. Alex is getting fussy so I nurse him again and pop him in his carseat for an evening walk. Josh comes with (YAY!) and we walk the big loop in our neighborhood. Claire takes turns 'chasing' me and then Josh then vice versa.
7:30 ish. I am reading my facebook status updates after we get home and read that my parents dog is not doing well. :( It is 14, had a seizure and was taken to the emergency vet. It will have to be put down. :( I tell Josh I'd like to take a bath (ALONE!) and so he watches both kids while I am able to bathe in peace without one or 2 kids in the tub with me. I relish my "me" time by being able to take care of my personal hygiene. LOL!
8:30ish I feel completely refreshed after shaving my legs. I get Claire ready for bed. I brush and floss her teeth while I tell her what we are going to do tomorrow. Then I read her and Alex some books. Alex likes to sit up with us now and smack the pages. We read some books about Clifford's puppy days, the Everybody poops books, the Disney Seek and Find Princess book (and I know where EVERY item is) and she's also fascinated with this Winnie the Pooh goes to school book. We also read the "Do your ears hang low?" book which irritates me because I want to sing when I read books that are really songs. I think we read a couple more but don't ask me what because they all tend to blend together after you've read them more than 10 times each. I try to "hide" books and rotate them, but this doesn't always work.
9:15. We tell Josh goodnight. I nurse Alex first, then Claire. Alex falls asleep pretty easily and quickly. Claire snuggles my back when it's not her turn. I think about this post I read recently on NATURAL WEANING. I don't always "love" nursing my kids, but I know it's the best for meeting their needs. I know that I can easily love my daughter to sleep in the most gentle way possible if she wants it. Sometimes she will pop off and roll away, but most nights she wants to fall asleep nursing still. I don't want to wean her because society says that I should or because some individual says I should or need to or it will help her sleep better. As a matter of fact, I think taking away her security would tear her small soul apart. I think many of these terrible tantrums I read about kids having on facebook could simply be solved by gentle parenting and natural weaning. Now I'm not saying that you should nurse your kids till they are 8 but that's another post. I just know that when I post stuff like this, I'm saying that this is what I do and it works for us, and that why I like it. I'm not saying that it would work for everybody or would even be right for everyone. But it sure as heck makes my life easier! I think about what I'm going to blog about and let my mind wander a bit as both kids fall asleep. I always sing Twinkle, Twinkle; Jesus Loves You; and Micheal Row Your Boat ashore. But I've change the line in "Michael" to bread and honey vs. milk and honey in case it's not Claire's turn to nurse so she won't think about nursing...ha.
9:45 - Sneak downstairs and eat a pumpkin muffin my neighbor gave me the other day while I check facebook and some blogs. I wonder how I can read blogs every day and forgot my own. :) I talk to my mom on the phone for a bit. I put some stuff in the car for tomorrow. I sit back down and read some more blogs. I am always behind on my blog reading as well. I follow too many of them! I start writing this post.
More than you wanted to know?

30 Day Challenge: Day 24

30 Day Challenge: Day 24 -- Where I live!

I had a hard time finding a picture of our house in the summer! I wanted to take this with the snow, so there you go. That's where I live! This picture is from last Jan. Obviously, we don't have snow in Sept. I hope not!!!

30 Day Challenge: Day 23

30 Day Challenge: Day 23 - A YouTube Video -- This is part one of five video clips in a series called Extraordinary Breastfeeding. You can go to YouTube and watch all 5. Watch them in order, very interesting. I'm sure if you follow any breastfeeding stuff, you've seen parts of this, with the "8 year old nursing" but really, it's talking about how she's losing the suckle reflex and can't nurse really well anymore. 8 is too old for me, but really, how can a breastfeeding mother judge another. After all, it really is more weird to feed our little babies cow's milk which is designed for baby cows!

30 Day Challenge: Day 22

30 Day Challenge: Day 22 -- A website -- My favorite breastfeeding info website is KellyMom for sure!

30 Day Challenge: Day 21

30 Day Challenge: Day 21 -- A recipe

Bacon Broccoli Quiche recipe


Here is the Bacon Broccoli Quiche recipe:

Ingredients:
1 9-inch frozen pie shell
1 10-oz package of frozen broccoli (I used fresh though)
1/4 an onion (chopped)
1/2 jalapeño (diced, seeded)
1/2 package of bacon (cooked and chopped)
1 cup milk
3 eggs, beaten
2 tablespoons melted butter
1 tablespoon flour
1 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 cup shredded pepper jack cheese
1/2 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese

Preheat oven to 375. Bake pie crust about 10 minutes to get started. Let cool. Cook broccoli onion, and jalapeño until tender, drain well. (I just put them all together in the microwave for about 4 minutes.) Meanwhile, combine milk, eggs, butter, flour, salt, pepper. Whisk until well blended. Then layer bacon on bottom of crust. Then broccoli, then cheese. Then pour liquid mixture over everything. Bake at 375 for about 35 minutes or until knife inserted in center comes out clean.

30 Day Challenge: Day 20

30 Day Challenge: Day 20 -- A hobby of yours!

Taking pictures of my kids and blogging!!!

30 Day Challenge: Day 19

30 Day Challenge: Day 19 - A talent of yours - BEING A MOM! Our society undervalues the importance of women and particularly mothers. I have been "Working" every day and night for the past three years, without ever having a single night off or a sick day.

Can you imagine the job description:
On 365/7/24. Overtime required. No sick leave. No vacation days. No breaks. No lunch break either.

Pay: None.
Benefits: Hugs and kisses and unconditional love <3

30 Day Challenge: Day 18

30 Day Challenge: Day 18 - Your Wedding



So I should post a picture of Josh and I, but since we got married nearly a decade ago, I can't find the right photo directory. I got this one elsewhere... :)

30 Day Challenge: Day 17

30 Day Challenge: Day 17 -- an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)

30 Day Challenge: Day 17 -- click there to see all the stuff to post about every day! Ok, so of course, I would pick something about breastfeeding, right. :) Well, here's the funny thing...I remembered this sculpture sitting on a bookshelf growing up. Then after I had Claire I told my mom I would love to have that sculpture of the mom and baby. Here's the funny thing...I didn't even realize it was a baby who was nursing until my mom gave it to me about a year ago. I guess it's just a natural way to hold a baby. I asked my mom where she got it. She *thinks* it came from a garage sale of a LLL friend. (Your mom, Amy!) So I would love more backstory on it.

Bedhead

These pictures are so hilarious, that they get their very own post. Make sure to click on them and take a close look at Claire's hair.

Claire wakes up with some beyond serious bedhead every day. I call it her "Kate Gosselin" look.

30 Day Challenge -- Day 16

30 Day Challenge -- Day 16 -- A song that makes you cry (or nearly) -- "Christmas Shoes"

And this is a challenge to get on my blog and post everyday!

30 Day Challenge -- Day 15

30 Day Challenge -- Day 15 -- Your Dream House -- Click HERE to see a really neat house. It wouldn't let me copy the image!

30 Day Challenge - Day 14

30 Day Challenge - Day 14 -- A non-fictional book -- As Nature Made Him by John Colapinto. I would highly recommend reading this book. It's the true life story of a boy who suffered from a botched circumcision, so bad that his penis was so badly injured, that he was raised as a girl. It was absolutely fascinating, and I read the whole thing in one sitting (before kids of course).

30 Day Challenge: Day 13

30 Day Challenge: Day 13 - Is a fictional book. My favorite fictional book is The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel. Click on that link to read more about it.

30 Day Challenge: Day 12

30 Day Challenge: Day 12 - Something you are OCD about...

Well, considering, I actually HAVE it...hmm...here is a sampling:
worried about food expiration dates
lots of handwashing
dislike the number 13
paranoid about my kids getting hurt
lots of anxiety about driving
would never do anything "risky" like bungee jump...etc...

anyways...the list goes on, but more on that later! :)

30 Day Challenge: Day 11

30 Day Challenge, Day 11--a photo of me recently:

This is me with Alex snoozing during dinner in his pouch sling made by my friend Patty. I had full intentions of posting this last night, but when I laid down with Claire to gently parent her to sleep, I fell asleep too. I didn't even have my teeth brushed. This is unusual for me! I normally have lots of problems falling asleep. I woke up about 12:30 and brushed my teeth. LOL!

30 Day Challenge: Day 10

30 Day Challenge: Day 10 is a photo of me taken over 10 years ago:



This is with my older brother David, younger sister Holly, and little brother Richard. I was probably about 8 since Richie looks about 1.

30 Day Challenge: Day 9

Day 9 of the 30 day Challenge is a photo that I took:

Claire had her 3rd birthday and wanted a Princess party. This was her cake...a castle cake. It was cool because it has all the decorations that we washed off and she kept to play with. And the cool thing about this is that I took the picture in the frame on the cake. I plan to do a "Claire is 3 post" but I probably won't get to it for awhile.

Breastfeeding Study

So today I zipped down to IU campus to participate in a Breastfeeding research study on moms who are nursing infants under 6 months. And I got paid to be a lab rat. Awesome! So what did it entail? I kept a sleep log for a week. I did an extensive history on myself (health history, history of my births of my children, family health history, basic info about my family, babies habits/behaviors, etc, etc.) All this they mailed to me to complete ahead of time along with an IQ test.

Of course, Alexander's presence was required. When I got there, I nursed him. During the session they took a total of 4 saliva samples from each of us. I also was given a nose spray which was like the kind you'd take with a cold, but it contained either a placebo or oxytocin (think of the chemical given to induce labor which they call PITOCIN, the same as released with breastfeeding, etc.) So they are studying the effect of oxytocin on the women's brain. They are studying women both with and without PPD in this study. If you're interested and semi-local, or don't mind traveling a bit and have a baby nursing under 6 months/ish, let me know if you want to do it, and I can give you the hookup.

I was all about anything to help the "cause" right! Anything in the name of breastfeeding research/PPD research. So then I hopped into an MRI machine while leaving Alexander with a "trained professional caretaker." Claire was with the neighbors all day by the way. While in the MRI, I was shown several series of interesting photos. They were scanning my brain. Meanwhile, they made me a CD to take home with some pretty cool pictures of my very own brain! They'll be sure to alert me if they pick up a tumor or some other abnormalities...nothing like getting paid to get your brain scanned.

So what kinds of pictures did they show me? Well, I thought it was pretty interesting and cool to see what they were studying. Obviously, they were looking at "what part of my brain lights up" when shown certain pictures. There were items that were clearly supposed to elicit a pleasure response: beautiful beach sunsets, snowy white capped mountains, palm trees, weddings, chocolate bars, piles of gold bars, fancy jewelry, happy smiling babies, laughing babies, kids playing at a waterpark, hot dads carrying groceries, sexy firemen with muscles peeking out from an open firecoat, etc. I don't even know how many pictures I saw, but there was a lot.

THEN mixed in with all this were "yucky" pictures that would give your brain something to go "WHOA!" about. Now, if you don't want to read about yucky stuff, stop reading this post right now. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Ok, so there were like car accidents, a boat sinking, a charred body, rotting animal carcasses, vomit all over a toilet/floor, a cat that was decaying, a woman who had clearly been raped/killed, other violent news-type footage. Anyways, there were also some "erotic photos" that you probably wouldn't want to tell your grandma about, but nothing I didn't already see when I toured the Amsterdam sex museum a few years back ;)

Anyways, it was simple and easy and a good way to help breastfeeding/PPD research. And they paid my travel too. Awesome. SO...if you're interested and localish...let me know if you want the contact info. Indy is only about an hour from IU.

30 Day Challenge: Day 8 WARNING: GRAPHIC PHOTO

A photo(s) that makes me sad is located here. I am not going to post it on my blog, as they are graphic pictures, but you can go to the blog site and see them. They are photos of 2 babies strapped down to be circumcised. Then it shows a freshly circumcised penis. If you follow me on Facebook, you might have seen me reposting some articles there. There is NO medical reason for circumcisions, and no medical organization in the world recommends it. Yet, doctors still do them. And even more astoundingly, parents CONSENT without having done ANY reading or ANY real research. Asking a couple people that are friends about it, is not research... Last year the rate for circumcisions in the US had dropped to 33%. There goes that locker room statement. Europe and most of the rest of the world does not circumcise their newborn males. Anyways...I know I'm preaching to the choir for the most part.

30 Day Challenge: Day 7

Wow! An entire week of posts featuring ME rather than just my kiddies! Impressive! Day 7 is a photo that makes me happy!

Oh wait! It is my kids that make me happy! This is Claire and Alex chilling outside. Claire is on my phone talking to probably Holly or my Mom!

30 Day Challenge: Day 6

Day 6 of the 30 Day Challenge is making a list of 20 of my favorite things!

Favorite Smells:
1. The smell of cookies or bread baking. YUM!
2. The smell of freshly cut lawns. SUMMER!
3. The way the air smells when it's ready to rain. FRESH!
4. The way sheets/bedding smells the day it's freshly out of the dryer. CLEAN!
5. The way my babies smell after a bath and lotion. MAGIC!

Favorite things to touch:
6. The feel of velvet
7. The feel of baby soft skin
8. The way bars of soap feel when they are wet....slimy, yet clean!
9. The feel of warm pavement on cool feet
10. The feel of silk!

Favorite things to eat (I am a choco-holic.)
11. Milk Chocolate bars
12. Chocolate Ice cream
13. Chocolate Pudding (homemade of course)
14. Oreos
15. Coconut MnMs (Do not try them. Highly addictive.)

Other Favorites:
16. Lake Michigan
17. Sleep
18. Computer time
19. Adult conversation with no interruptions
20. Hot baths

If you haven't already started doing the 30 day blog challenge, here is the list of things to post about. I look forward to reading your posts.

Well-Children Exams

We were driving and the car was on a bumpy road. A new song came on with a good beat and Claire shouts, "Mommy, The car is dancing!"

I asked Claire, "What would you like for lunch?" And her reply? "I wanna eat poopie!" Everything is funny if it has poop or pee in it. She know sings, "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Poop" "Old McDonald Had a Farm with a poop-poop here, and a poop-poop there...everywhere a poop-poop!" Also making it's way into her musical repertoire is "Out came the sun and dried up all the poop, and the Itsy-Bitsy Spider climbed up the poop again." It's like mad-libs. But only poopier. Then she will sing "abcdefghijklmnoP(giggle, giggle) P!!! P!!! PEE!!!"

Today we went to Claire's 3 year-well child exam. I cracked up at the man sitting in the lobby eating MnMs and drinking Pepsi while reading The South Beach Diet. I could give him a couple pointers. Then he pulled out a bag of peanut MnMs. REALLY?! Wow. Then we went over the hospital to have Claire's blood drawn. I'm having her tested for basic seasonal and basic food allergies...maybe that has something to do with the night wakings? Can't hurt. She had a great lab-tech. She did not even cry when she got stuck.

Claire's favorite lunch request? A peanut butter cup...but not the kind you are thinking of...she wants a cup with peanut butter in it. I had filled a 1/4 measuring cup with a little peanut butter to dip apples in one day, and now she asks for it all the time. She likes to eat the PB with just a spoon, but who doesn't? :) And finally...Claire is no longer labeled failure to thrive or "slow weight gain!" Yay! :) The doc said she was just fine. No check up until she turns 4!

Another funny thing Claire likes to say is when she wants to wear tennis shoes instead of sandals. She says, "I want shoes that hide my toes and keep them secret!" She will also say that her hand is "sad" and I need to hold it. It's too cute.

She also calls coins, "Coinys" which sounds like "COIN-KNEES" which is super funny.

If she sees a "pimple or zit" on someone she calls it a "ZIMPLE" which is her combo of "ZIT plus the ending of PIMPLE." I love it.

Today at the hospital lab, we say an old man when we were walking in, and "She goes, "HI! YOU LOOK LIKE DOPEY!" You know, from the Snow White story! Then she wanted to know why that wasn't nice. See, we got a set of bibs for Alex's drool. One of them had Dopey on it. I told Josh that I didn't know if I wanted him to be wearing a Dopey bib cause then people might think, oh, he's dopey. And Claire immediately knew how to use this word, and said, "Hi, my little dopey Alex."

Her check-up went well and the doctor was impressed at how well she could talk and even say things like, "Mommy, be quiet, it's my turn to talk!" When I was trying to talk to Dr. W. That cracked the Dr. up!

She was also very concerned when one nurse took Alexander to weigh him on the baby scale in another area. She kept saying, "Why they taking my brother? They gonna bring him back?!" It was sweet.

Alexander was 27 1/2 inches long (99%); weighed 19.10 (99%); and his head was 17 1/4 around. He is a very busy boy. He has been grasping objects and bringing them to his mouth for a good month. He started rolling from tummy to back right before 2 months and started rolling the other way about a month ago. He is still slow, which is good, but he is amazing with how he will scoot around. Like he will do a 360 on a blanket on the floor. If he is on his back, he can pick up his body weight by pressing down on the floor with his feet. He is a very strong little kicker. He also kicked my belly a lot more while prego with him vs. Claire.

Alexander is very laid-back. He loves to laugh and smile, and be held. He is a great sleeper and is only waking up 1 or 2 times at night. (THANK YOU LORD! :) because Claire still wakes up a lot!) He tolerates Claire being very close and in his face all the time. He had his first taste of solids. An orange MnM. Yup. Thanks to Claire. Luckily, she was just holding it in his mouth and he was sucking on it, but boy was his tongue orange!!! And I'd had this discussion with her several times since my mom said someone fed my little brother a Cheerio and he wasn't latching right when he nursed. So in her defensive, Claire explained to me that he wasn't "eating it" he was just "sucking on it." Sigh.

Alexander is wearing mostly sized 12 month clothes, but has moved to 18 month is some smaller sized items. Yeah. He is gonna be big, but Claire was also 19 lbs by 4 months, 24 lbs at 9 months, then 23 lbs at 15 months and was labeled FTT, so whatever. She is fine now! Alex is wearing size 3 diapers during the day, and I put him in sized 5 at night since the sized 4 Huggies overnights were still leaking thru. I refuse to change him at night. It wakes us both up too much! The size 5s should last for awhile. Claire was in size 4s last winter when she potty trained and 5s at night, but I also remember buying her size 5s at around 7 months for a few cases, before her thighs thinned out! :)

Claire loves gum. LOVES IT! But so do I. Recently I shared that I took her in for a dentist appt and that she had 4 cavities. Well, we got a referral to a peds dentist, and I wish we would have just started there. She only has 2 that needed to be filled, which she had done there and did absolutely great! The issue is I was only brushing 1x per day and definitely not for a full two minutes. They gave me a sand timer, so I can time the brushings.

And by the way. Alex will get teeth sooner than Claire. He already has some white showing on his gums, and is drooling and mouthing his hands more than Claire ever did. She didn't get teeth until well into her 10th month.

And a little update on me...I'm taking an anti-depressant safe for nursing and I think it's really helped. Seriously, go get yourself to a mental health professional if you think you have post-partum depression or depression, because you probably do! Stay healthy!

We've had so many appointments this week, it's ridiculous. We also went to Claire's meet the teacher night. It was fun! I can't wait for her to start preschool! She is excited to. I wish I could say I could nap during the preschool sessions, but I'll probably be running errands with just Alex and stuff like that. The clothes for both of the kids are such a mess right now. Alex has outgrown seriously about everything in his dresser. I need to sort through it and get it ready to give to my sister for her little guy, Nolan. I can't wait to get rid of it either!

NO MORE BABIES HERE! I always wanted four kids. Then I had Claire and I said NEVER AGAIN for the first 12 months of her life. Then I had Alex, and now I'm saying NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN EVER. TOO MUCH WORK! LOL! Besides, I want to be able to give them lots of 1-on-1 attention and well, you know, maintain my own sanity.

Another nursing milestone for Claire...nope, she hasn't weaned...lol. I decided the issue that I wasn't against nursing, I was so "depressed" and feeling overly tired. Taking away a comfort to both of us was not going to help. Besides, it would be good to get Alex through his first year without his sister getting him sick...and a good way to do that is to keep letting her get an immunity boost from me. I never offer, and I do refuse sometimes. She can wait pretty well know. Sometimes she will forget, but mostly not. Remember that list of all the foods/cups of water she would drink. Not so much anymore. She barely drinks a cup of water/day...and maybe one cup of juice. I usually throw out the 2nd half of the cup. One day she ate just a few bites of apple.

Today: breakfast--didn't eat anything offered. Lunch--offered 1/2 cut up hotdog, with ketchup on the side, a few chunks of cheese with crackers, and orange segments. She ate 2 orange slices dipped in ketchup. Yum? Then she ate about 4th of a cracker. That's it. Oh, she did have a tiny dum-dum sucker after her blood draw, but did not want anything else all evening. Yeah...except to nurse. So I've heard that some kids with allergies will nurse more to ward off the allergies and their body "knows" this. So I can't want to see what the allergy results are. Oh, but the nursing milestone: She can nurse with GUM in her mouth. Yup. She tucks it under her upper lip. I knew she had it in there because she would pop off, chew for a second, then go back to nursing...I was like...give me your gum. She said, "I don't have gum." Because she knew I'd trash it ;) So then I said, "Where are you putting the gum when you nurse?" Since it wasn't in her fists. She pointed to it. Hahaha...starting to learn how to "lie" but not quite! They say that if a baby isn't mother-lead weaned by about 18 months, they will usually nurse until 36 months which is a common time for child-led weaning. So I'm waiting ... tomorrow she actually turns 37 months. I doubt she'll wean though ;) She's a huge comfort nurser and never would take a binky. Alex isn't a big comfort nurser, I've noticed already. He obviously get enough, though, since he's my great big chunky monkey! :)

Last weekend I drove up to my parents, picked up my mom, and then we drove up to Madison for my cousins baby shower. We stayed in a hotel with an indoor water park. CLAIRE LOVED IT! I must have taken her down a water slide there about 50 times.

So that's just some of what we've been doing lately and what's been going on with us. If you haven't already started the "Blog" challenge and you blog, I'd love to see you do your challenge and learn more about you! :) How's that for a bunch of random things? LATER!

30 Day Challenge: Day 5

My Favorite Quote -- It's actually a prayer, but I say it counts! ---

The Serenity Prayer:


God, grant us the...
Serenity to accept things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the
Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.

30 Day Challenge: Day 4

Day 4 is my Favorite Book!

It's hard to pick a favorite of any one "thing" in this culture of overload, but I am going to limit myself to just sharing one favorite each day of this blog challenge. I would have to say my favorite book of all time is The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Why? Because I hated it in high school, but reread it after and loved it. :) It just goes to show that time and experience change everything, and it goes to prove "You can never read the same book twice!" I loved teaching it to my juniors even more. It's really cool to see what others get out of it.

30 Day Challenge: Day 3

Day 3 Challenge - Your Favorite Television Program -
Mine would have to be GLEE currently. Watch a quick video clip here see a taste of all the fun drama. I also love the musical feel of the show!

30 Day Challenge: Day 2

Day 2 is my favorite movie -- It would have to be The Sound of Music and you can watch a trailer of it by clicking here. Super catchy songs, and I am named after the main character! How do you solve a problem like Maria?

30 Day Challenge: Day 1

My favorite song was/is the song that Josh and I danced to at our wedding 9 (!!!!!!!!!) years ago called "Truly, Madly, Deeply" by Savage Garden. I am going to embed it here, so click on the play button to watch it or if you use a feedreader, click here to watch the lyrics. It's also a super-relaxing song.

30 Day Challenge

My friend Mary from HS is doing a 30 day blogging challenge that she heard about here. I challenge you to join in the fun. I will do this every day for the next month along with some other posts here and there.

Butterfly Funeral

Today Claire found a butterfly stuck in the front of my car. She was excited! We have a butterfly bush, and she loves to watch the butterflies flit around. She knows that if she gets too close, then they will fly away. She said, "Oh it's so pretty! Then...why isn't it moving? Is it dead?" Like she knew...just from seeing dead worms outside. We've encountered a dead baby bird this summer on a walk. That was sad :( So she wanted to take it home. So I decided this was a good lesson. So we brought it home. I found a small white jewelry box for a casket and had a little funeral for it. We buried it under a tree in the front yard. She has probably asked me a 100 questions about it tonight. And I try patiently to answer them all.

I try not to say things like, "Just because." You know, I read a blurb in a magazine one time that the average 3 year-old asks 70 questions/hour. So her rate must be 170 questions/hour. I've been working on getting her to extend her questions, so they are not just "Why or how?" Because that's like "Why what?" Ahh...fun!

So I haven't posted in awhile, I know, because sometimes life gets going and the thing is, if I miss one night of blogging, then I miss another, then suddenly, a week has slipped away, then another. Sometimes I think maybe I shouldn't blog because nobody reads it, then I let it go for awhile, and it's a good remind that...wait! There are fans!

Claire had her 3rd birthday. Alex has turned three months, and is closer to 4!!! He weighed in at 19.9 today at the breastfeeding group. He is my little chunky monkey. He is wearing the Huggies size 4 overnight diapers. Claire wore size 4 diapers in January when she potty trained!!! He has actually leaked a couple times with those though, so the next overnight pack will be size 5s! During the day he is in size 3s. His clothes range from a few bigger 6-9 month sizes to 18 month onesies. He is very long. The 12 month ones are getting hard to snap in the middle!

This is going to be a conglomeration of topics rather than several separate posts. Another reason I haven't posted in awhile is that I have been recently "labeled/diagnosed" or whatever you want to call it with PPD or post-partum depression. I feel like I wanted to share this sooner with any of my dear readers, but I haven't really known how to present it. So whatever, now you know! And actually, I've been on meds for about 3 weeks and I feel like they are working. I don't feel intensely angry anymore. My depression took the form of anger and mood swings. I'll probably be posting on this more later. But I've probably had depression my whole life. It was actually a relief to hear this label. Like I had a reason to feel how I was feeling.

Anyways, I saw a perinatal mood specialist in Indy. So that's like all she does. Talks to crazy post-partum, hormonal women. :) And oh, guess what. I have OCD with intrusive thoughts which is anxiety. Like I stress about germs and strangers touching my kids. OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)...yes... I am obsessed with keeping my kids healthy! Like, have you seen all the crap I post on facebook about breastfeeding! It's very common for people who are deeply involved in a cause to have OCD ... or is it the other way around? Anyways, it always hurt my feelings growing up when people would call me a neat-freak or perfectionist because I didn't see that in myself and don't. Like all I see is how dirty my house is when it's really not that bad....

And man, do I get grossed out going to public restrooms. I like libraries and hospitals. They know how to clean bathrooms. That's about it! Anyways, here's what I want to know...they say that you should get your teeth cleaned ever six months. You should have a yearly physical every year around your birthday, so you remember. And you should have a yearly well-woman exam, etc...what about a head check? Why is America never saying...get your mental health checked?

I think there is a lot of "stigma" attached to mental issues or labels, like if you're depressed, you can't do anything, but lay around your house all day on the couch. I'm the opposite. I don't like being alone. I go to the Children's museum 1-2x a week to get out and visit with other moms. Here's the funny thing...I'm starting to recognize the staff and other regular members!

Anyways...why the sudden "revelation"... I guess I was just feeling incredibly overwhelmed and tired and like I.could.not.do.it.all. It's a lot to take care of a kid all day everyday, plus all night. Parenting is endless. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids so incredibly much, but it's sad when I think of running to the store for 15 minutes as "me" time. Or taking a shower alone is "me" time. Haha!

I usually take a bath with one or both kids...it's just like once you sign up for a kid, the whole thing doesn't become real until you have a squalling baby (and a toddler in your arms!)

So let's talk about anger. I always had a focal point for anger. I think some people get angry and get the road rage with driving. My anger that I can remember was always in school. I mean...I got pretty much straight As. My OCD made me a great student!!! I got a full-ride to college on an academic scholarship and did great there as well. I am very focused on grammar and spelling and can't stand it when I see grammar errors on Facebook, etc. I know sometimes I get sloppy with commas and stuff on there, but I still notice it and post it anyways. It's my way of being a rebel. :)

So during school I would be angry about certain classes or assignments or teachers I didn't like or different things we were doing that drove me nuts. I hated my 8th grade English class with passion. Beowulf. YUCK. I hated Chemistry. I hated Calculus. And on and on. I was super angry about stuff. I would obsess about homework and assignments and then stay up late working on stuff. I would be pissed when I would get stuff "wrong" or lose points, etc.

Anyways, it's very common for when you have depression to pick a focal point for anger. So here's when I realized I had issues, after Claire's birth I now know I had PPD. I was so so so angry about the cats. Yoda and Snuggles. I was angry about having to clean the catbox. I was angry about the fur and hair the left everywhere. I was angry that they would get too close to baby Claire and get their paws on her...or even walk on her or her stuff. Those same paws were in the litter box! EW! So it got to the point where I was so mad about them, that we gave them away to a dear friend from college. Anger about that was then gone.

So then, my focal point changed. I began to obsess about Claire's birth. The cats were gone by about the time Claire turned 6 months. I was so angry about her birth experience and things not going how I wanted them to. I went to a LLL enrichment meeting at Broadripple and the topic was birth stories. I shared mine and was crying the whole time. I was the last one to share, and said I didn't want to share. Another leader said, take your time, and encouraged me to talk about it. It was actually very healing for me to talk about it in a safe environment with women I knew about it.

After I had shared, one of the leaders came up and talked to me about post-partum depression. Shortly thereafter I went to my OB and got a script for Zoloft. However, I didn't get it filled. I think I only ever told Josh. He said that I basically didn't need it. I know he wasn't trying to "hurt" me or anything, but we as a society are so so so uneducated about perinatal mood disorders like PPD. I would cry every time I went to a website about PPD because the list of symptoms to me where like, check, check, check, check.

I honestly didn't start feeling better until she was about 18 months old. I started working out and lost some weight. But I guess I would still get angry and in debates on facebook and elsewhere about breastfeeding, etc. So sorry about that ;) It's my obsession. Truly.

So then around her 2nd birthday, I got pregnant with Alexander. We were trying of course. But then after he was born, I was starting to feel some of the same things like I did with Claire. I'm afraid to walk by the top of the stairs because I'm afraid I might drop him, and walking down the stairs is worse. I'm afraid to have other people hold him. I'm afraid of lots of things. I'm afraid if Claire splashes water on his face that he might get water in his lungs. But my parental worry goes over and above the normal worry. Like part of my intrusive thoughts is playing out weird scenes in my head. Anyways....I'm working on not worrying about things like, ew, gross Claire just picked up a dead butterfly!

I honestly feel like I am sleeping better. I haven't cried for about 2 weeks. I feel like my head is clearer and my thoughts aren't jumbled. If you think you have had PPD, you probably do. And you might have depression too. It's ok. You have to take the step. Call me/email me/etc if you are local and I'll get you the hook-up with the Clarion counselors. WORTH IT. Step one. One day at a time. Know you want help. Know that this too shall pass ;) Know that you can do it. And you are doing it. Seriously, 1 in 7 women have PPD. It is the most common complication of childbirth. And the most commonly undiagnosed because it's so misunderstood. It's a chemical imbalance plain and simple. Pregnancy changes your body chemistry so much. Then it takes MONTHS before your body goes back to normal chemical levels. Add in sleep deprivation...fun! And nobody knows sleep deprivation until you have a baby that needs you all.the.time. It's normal though, and that's what babies do and need.

And I'm obsessed at not letting my babies cry.for.a.single.dang.second. I feel like it's incredibly wrong. Like why in the freaking hell would you sign up to be a parent then let your baby/child cry? Seems so inherently wrong. Not only that, but when I hear them cry, it actually gets inside my head and I.can't.stop.it. That's why if Claire still needs to nurse at 36 months and still asks for it, then I let her. Basically, I was feeling very angry at Claire. I knew that something was wrong .... with me!

It wasn't right to feel so angry at my sweet little Claire about crying or needing something when before Alex was born (enter PPD) I wouldn't have cared about it a lot at all. I was also having a lot of mood swings. Like, very hard to not cry at stuff. Stupid stuff, too. So that's not normal!

So what if somebody says they think that they have PPD to you? Encourage them to get help. Get an evaluation and get meds that work for them and a person to talk to who is "outside of their circle" so to speak.

Don't say it isn't real. That's like telling somebody with strep throat that they don't have it. That's emotionally cruel.

Don't ask if they're feeling ok or better? That's kind of vague and annoying, although I know it's generally not meant to be. Ask more specific questions if you really want to know or care.

Don't ask if you can do something without plans to follow through. Better: Hey, "I want to help. I want to bring you dinner or come clean your bathrooms." And no, I'm not asking for this of anyone, those awesome souls of you who have already done this after Alex was born or more recently, thank you a thousand hundred times over again and again, or if I've chatted on the phone/emailed with you, etc. You know who you are ;)

I guess flakiness is one of my pet peeves. Like I remember the girl in 7th grade that borrowed lunch money from me 2 times and never paid me back. Really, why did I do it a 2nd time. I'm nice. And I still can't let it go. Really. What the heck!

Anyways, if this is totally random and jumbled, forgive me, but if you're still reading then I know you care ;)

Here are some fun things Claire has said lately:

"Momma, baby cows come outta them Momma's butts" in reference to watching a baby calf be born at Fair Oaks Farms. We are working on pronouns still!

Today she threw a band-aid on the ground. I told her to throw it on the ground. I said, "Claire, where is the trash can?!" And she replied, "Wherever you left it, Momma!" Good answer, as that is what I tell her whenever she asks me where a certain tiny toy is that she can't find. I'm thinking she might need glasses.

She has a 'sidewalk' for her playhouse. She calls it an "8" or "B" sidewalk.

We go outside first thing in the morning or after we eat supper. We have no big shade trees in our newer neighborhood. We might go out for 5-10 min. when we get the mail midday, but then it's too hot! So we came back in recently and Claire was pleading to go back outside. She goes, "But Momma, I promise that I won't get too hot!"

Claire was trying to describe "That Fun Place" to me. I was having a hard time figuring it out. It's like Chucky Cheese, although we have yet to take her to CC yet! I asked her if it was before Alexander was born. She adamantly said, "NO! YOU WERE PREGNANT." Haha! :) I guess he was around if I was prego.

So anyways...I am fine. I am the same old me basically! I want the best for my kids, and I am OCD about it!

Alexander is the little baby boy that stole my heart. He weighed in at 19.9...I can't believe it!!! My little big baby! He sleeps great, nurses great, and seems super laid back. And it's not just my observations, but others have noticed this too.

Confession: I broke a rocking chair at church while I was sitting in it, nursing Alex. That was pretty crappy. Sigh.

Confession: I spanked Claire on 3 different occasions since Alex was born. It felt awful. It didn't work. I'm never doing it again, and I'm very sorry to my sweet baby Claire! There, I feel better having admitted that. But man, I said I never would, and I never will again. She said, "Momma, No hitting! That's not nice." She's right. I need to talk. She's totally old enough now to understand and ask "WHY!" about stuff.

Confession: I had a cleaning lady come recently. Why do I feel guilty? I feel like I should be able to do it all. I feel OCD about not wanting a stranger in my space, touching our stuff. Snooping? Stealing? But it's a friend of a friend, so I feel ok about it.

So the cleaning lady comes Tuesday. Wednesday, yesterday, I dumped 8 cups of soup with meat and veggies all over the counter and floor and me. 8 cups is a lot. Dump one cup on your counter and see. OH MY GOD. I was so pissed. I threw away all three kitchen rugs (ok, they were 10 years old) because I didn't want to mess with them. Then I had to clean up my 1 day old mopped floor. Super pissed.

Then. Claire was playing around the house in a swim suit. Fine. Whatever. She can wear what she wants when we are home. That's fine as long as she is happy and dressed! So she went to the bathroom and couldn't get the suit off in time. She peed all over the 2 rugs in the bathroom. So I threw away the 2 bathroom rugs. They were also old to let you know and the backing was falling off. SUPER ANNOYING. So then I had to remop that floor after spraying her off. I also threw away her swimsuit. I feel wasteful ;) But it was a garage sale suit that had lost the elastic and was not staying up anyway. Seriously? What do you do with that kind of stuff? Does Goodwill recycle clothes/rugs like that? Who wants to wash them to donate them!

Also, Josh's Grandma Peggy died around Claire's third birthday. :( Super sad. She was a great lady and will be missed. I will miss chatting with her on the phone.

Some other fun things post-Alex:

Claire tried the soap in the bathroom. As in ate some. When she does stuff "wrong" I try to always remember to ask why. She said, "I wanted berry yogurt." Sure enough, there were berries on the bottle of soap.

Alex had his first taste of solids. It was an orange MnM. Via Claire. Yup. He had a super orange tongue. Of course at this age they suck anything in their mouth. She didn't let go of it though. She said, "He's not eating it, Mommy. Just licking it." Sigh. I thought I had that chat with her.

I buried a butterfly today and talked to Claire about death. It was actually pretty amazing and a good way to talk about God. I thank God everyday for the 2 greatest gifts on earth, my sweet baby Claire and my sweet baby Alexander.

Anyways, I'll let you go. Now, who read that to the end?